Show Biz vs Substance

Looking for help?

It seems to me that we sometimes have trouble differentiating good marketing from substance.

Just because a person is well known and has achieved the title “guru”, don’t lose your own sense of what is valuable and what is not. Many who are considered “gurus” are simply well-branded, well-marketed "personalities".

Too many people lose their confidence when it comes to choosing any product or service. They fall into trusting what is known, or what they think others will approve of, as opposed to making savvy decisions based on what works or what resonates. I wonder if that makes them “sheep”?

You Can't Fix "Selfish"!

Trying to make a decision? Sometimes we invest in people in our personal and professional lives who simply are not worth it. How do you know whether you are dealing with one of "those"?

Of course, this is just a theory. My theory. There are givers and there are takers. If you are dealing with a taker, hopefully it is one with a sense of fair play. If not, my advice would be to RUN!

Self-absorbed people can appear to be interested in you and your well being. How they act over time is the reality. Do they follow through with their promises, commitments, expressions of concern? If not, they will drain you. It is highly probable that you will turn into someone you do not like as you plead, beg, fight to be heard. There is no other outcome if you stay attached.

Your choice.

Now you know.

When You Know You Were Wrong!

Sometimes, we get that creepy feeling that we overreacted, were too intense with our communication, or were just plain were mistaken in our assumptions. Or perhaps we know that we did not give 100% effort to a project or a commitment we have made.

Most common behavior: act surprised when someone notes our mistake. Attempt to shift the blame to something the other person did or said.

Big Mistake! Why? Because you fool no one. By not acknowledging the behavior you cause a deepening of the mistrust. What is the consequence of that? Hard to say, but there will be consequences.

Correct response: Admit that you overreacted, under responded, were incorrect. Why? Because it begins a much healthier dialog with the other person. Because the other person will feel as if they have been heard. Because if you do not, the other person is now in the process of disengaging from the relationship. It may take days, months or even years, but they are moving away from you. You have made it clear that you do not intend to "own" your behavior which leaves the other feeling as though nothing they do will make any difference in the quality of the relationship. You are clearly more invested in being right than in being honest!

2nd Guessing?

Are you ever guilty of complaining about decisions already made by others? Not only is it a waste of time, but it also really makes YOU look bad.

What if you are right? What if it was a really bad decision?

Doesn't matter. It still makes YOU look bad.

Why? Because it is too late. There is nothing good that comes of the noise you are making. And, everyone knows that. So, instead of making you look smart, it makes you look petty, belligerent, and depending on the circumstances, disloyal.

When you are tempted, RESIST!

Waste NOT!

Unhappy with your current job/position/company? Assume that you want to do something very different in order to be satisfied?

That's where many of us get stuck. The need for change is off set by the complexities of what that means. Does it mean starting over? How will we know what the right thing is? After all, weren't we wrong before?

Do you remember when you loved what you were doing? Or, at least when you thought you would? Perhaps you developed a skill set and credentials to go along with that initial sense that "this" was right for you.

Assume for a moment that nothing is wasted. Every effort, lesson, credential is still important to whatever you do next. The criterion for the change is not that it be different (as much as you may feel that right now), but that it fulfills you. Assume that, other than the negative experience you now have, everything you have done and are doing will apply to what you do next. It simply must change form enough to eliminate the negative. You WILL love it again when the negative is removed!

Make a list of all your skills.
Make a list of the things you remember that you loved to do.
Add the things you still like.

Pretend that there is a perfect job with your name on it that is still in the same field/industry/area of expertise that you now engage in. But, assume that its form is different, more satisfying, and much more suited to who you are. Know that it will utilize everything you have learned to do and that you will not have wasted one moment doing the wrong thing.

Ask yourself what you are still learning that you need to learn. Learn it so that you can move on.